a bit of talk ❤️‍🩹



I know this is a bit off topic and something I shouldn't be stressing about at the moment. What am I talking about (better say thinking about)? The thing is I was just thinking about life lately. This is something I have ignored over the last 4-5 years to solely focus on my academics, but I feel it is the right time for me to think more about this and share a bit of what I feel here. 

I overthink a lot and by a lot I mean really a lot. From the movement of things around me to expressions and various countless things. Perhaps there isn't a moment where I don't overthink. For me a 'Hey' and 'Heyy' are two very different things. So are 'ok' and 'okayy'. And why did I add this here? Only so that the person reading this (if any) doesn't think that I'm mentally unstable. 

So, how has life been lately? Amazing in some senses and no so amazing in a few others. Good side first, I've been playing a lot of badminton and also keeping myself entertained. Also, I've not been following my promise to stay away from junk food, and I've been stuffing myself with every junk food that I find. I've also been treating this cat in my neighborhood quite well by providing it food, playing with it, talking with it even though it doesn't understand a word I speak (nor do I). Btw, this cat is pregnant for the 2nd or 3rd time. Her first partner has disappeared (I haven't seen that guy since June) and now is seen roaming alone. That definitely is turning out to be good plot. 

Talking about the bad side, I've been utterly lazy and deviated from my path. I've been playing a lot of games and mindlessly scrolling YouTube, watching Short after Short and video after video. My academics haven't been up to the mark (honestly, I'll rate it zero at the moment). Getting up at 4 in the morning feels like moving a rock these days. 

And due to the culmination of all these factors I feel like doing absolutely nothing these days. This is the prime reason why I haven't responded to messages and chats. I've started feeling bored listening to music as well nowadays because of how much I've been listening to it. My Spotify stats might cross the 30,000 minutes mark this year 😶‍🌫️😬

However, I believe I can stage a strong comeback. A thing I keep telling myself is that "The journey of becoming a CS is a war, and everyday there are and will be battles but I'm ready to die for it" That is how much this course means to me.

Every time I've felt low over the last few months, I've been going back to this reel over and over again: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8s-su0PmQm/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

And now the most important question. Why am I sharing this here? Why not somewhere? The only valid reason is because unlike others I don't have someone who can listen to me talk about these things. This platform provides me a safe space to share with the world what I feel, how I feel and when I feel.

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