A Fragile Building called Trust! ❤️

Hello Readers!

This post is about a topic suggested by one of my close friends and also among the few readers of this blog. She did give me more topics but this one caught my attention the most. Hey, if you're reading this, I'll be writing on those other topics as well soon.

The topic was something like criteria for trusting a person. To be more specific, are there any specific criteria for trusting someone? Is it based on past experiences or relationships? As someone whose friend circle is limited to a handful of people, I feel I can do justice to this question.

My opinion may be totally different from that of my readers and I totally accept your views as well. No judging, no shaming! Trust, loyalty and synonyms of these words are very subjective. It depends on the nature of the person as well.

So, my view is in some sense different yet similar to that of others. I believe that trust is something that is not in our hands to be honest. I feel that one cannot generate trust in another person. It is a feeling that develops over time. It is something that cannot be forced or can be expected from another person. It is in some sense similar to love and the affection one has towards others. Love in every sense knows no bounds or categories, it is something that is natural and develops from within. Trust follows the same path.

While one may keep doing actions to induce the feeling of trust in another person, it is out of the person's control. The inducement may or may not work but that's the only thing that one can do.  The actions, the words, the mannerisms, behavior all contribute towards this inducement but the final call lies with the mind. This, is the most beautiful thing about trust (can be extended to love as well) that it doesn't care about your status as a person.

Another aspect of this feeling is the time and again jolts that it gives. One moment - you're trusting the person completely - the next, you have absolutely no trust in them. This is wonderfully captured in the song 'Aise Kyun: Ghazal Version' by Rekha Bharadwaj in the following lines :

...Aksar tumse mil kar

mujhko ghar sa lagta hai

Phir kyon dil hi dil mein

koi darr sa lagta hai?...

The paradox within the question makes this even more comforting and relatable.

An apt example of developing trust - a novice attempting pottery and creating a perfect vase in his first try. He doesn't know how but by a method which has worked for him, he now has a beautiful vase. And once, even by mistake, if it is broken, it will never be the same.

While I drift back into my world, I leave it to the readers to understand their views and acknowledge the feeling of trust whenever it arises. It is magical yet fragile. Miles to build, metres to fall.

Goodbye! 👋

PS: A good chunk of this post was written way back in April. Only a few lines and the closing statement was added at the time of publishing this post.