Deafening with Silence!

Hey!

Welcome(back) to my blog. I hope everybody is doing great and having a wonderful time. I'm back with another post after posting a couple last week. Surprised? Stay here to find out.

This post is based on a recent feeling or thought I had a few days back. Usually, I refrain from posting about the nitty-gritty of my personal life and about my emotions. But over the last two days, I've been feeling a strong urge to share this. I don't know why, but it just feels right to be writing this here. Maybe a few of my readers could relate to this. So, what is this feeling?

Two days ago, while I was preparing myself to rest after a tiring day, I was reminded of a rather unpleasant memory. I didn't pay much heed to it initially, but it kept provoking a response from me. I still didn't budge and went on about my routine. I always stare at the ceiling of my room for a minute, thinking about my day and how I can do better the next day. This memory acted as a hindrance, and I had to give in. What memory was it? Stay tuned.

Generally, I don't mind people criticising me or even passing vile comments about me. I let them slip because I always have had better things to do than respond. But that night, the incidents where I have been unwantedly criticised kept coming back - maybe wanting a response for my non-response. It was unusual, but I had to deal with it. A ton of incidents, especially those that happened over the last 3 years, flooded me. These were mostly related to me skipping regular college and opting for a correspondence one, my decision to skip my CS Executive June attempt, my decision to stay at home during my CS preparation, and, importantly, my decision to keep quiet in moments of criticism. How did I deal with it?

I have stressed enough on my beliefs and mindset in my earlier posts, and that day too, I persisted with it.

I kept reminding myself of the tasks ahead and the important things in my life. It helped me to a large extent, but there was a part of me still begging for the answer to why I have always chosen to not respond in the same manner. And in this process, this thought struck me and I've since been amazed by it.

In this world, which is devoid of happiness despite the material needs of the people being satisfied, I don't mind being their source of happiness. Why do people pass nasty comments or discourage dreams? Simply because they're jealous or unhappy with my progress or state. And to these people, if they're getting joy in saying and thinking bad about me, what am I losing? Who is the real loser in this case? There is no loser technically. The people are happy, and I don't seem to care much about the comments. You do you, I do I.

I have always given importance to the usage of examples, and this post would be empty without an example. People often love sunrises and sunsets but hate the afternoons - ever thought why? People don't love the sunrises and sunsets because of the timings - they love it because the sun is at its lowest during those times. They hate the afternoons because the sun is at its peak. And in this world where the Sun, despite being the ultimate source of energy, is hated at his peak, who am I, a mere mortal, to expect otherwise?

People have often confused my silence with my inability to respond in a vile manner. Maybe I don't have it in me to be saying hurtful things about others, even in anger, and if people derive so much joy in tearing me down, I'd gladly encourage it. I'll keep moving unshaken while you try to rip me.

Would you choose silence or spew hatred to counter hatred? I'd like to invite my readers to share their experiences and feelings in such moments. You can share your views anonymously in the comments.